PHILIPPINES MIDTERM ELECTIONS 2013

The election tomorrow (second Monday of the month of May) is national in scope but does not include choosing a President and a Vice-President. That is why it is described as midterm --- it happens during the middle of the term of the President (or Vice-President). Thus it was three years ago when we elected officials in a presidential election and we shall do so again after another three years.

For me, there is this spirit of being in the middle, of not really taking sides in all the discussed issues in the campaign period. Having said that, perhaps it is coincidental or just a flimsy excuse but I plan to vote for only six (out of a maximum of 12) senatorial candidates. I'm taking the polls literally by half.

Here are my picks for those who care to know:

1. ALCANTARA
2. ANGARA - (*H)
3. BELGICA
4. GORDON - (** but tolerable and does not outweigh my perception that he has been, and will again be, a good senator)
5. MAGSAYSAY (JUN) - (*H)
6. POE - (* because she proclaims her father to have won and therefore technically forms part of a dynasty but that is only "technically" and I still think she is deserving)

And if we can only UNVOTE, these six are definitely those I will UNVOTE for:

1. Binay - */**
2. Ejercito - */**
3. Pimentel - */**/*H
4. Hontiveros - **
5. Maceda - **
6. Villanueva - **

Kanya-kanyang trip lang and these are my perceptions against them:

*Am totally against political dynasty no matter how competent the descendant is. For me, one politician is enough for a family (direct blood relations) within two successive generations (i.e., grandchildren are ok to follow the footsteps of a grandparent). One big exception though: *H or a Harvard degree. 

**Nayayabangan ako sa mga itu. Kahambog ug kakatalan ani nila. They come across as arrogant. Again, these are my perceptions and they may in fact be humble people but they haven't been able to project that to me to me to me to me in their various appearances in all sorts of media.

As for the rest of the senatorial candidates (the 21 of the total 33), sorry, they just didn't register!

Yun lang poe!

LSS

PHILIPPINE STOCK EXCHANGE

It's exactly been three two years since I took a close relative's advice to invest in our country's stock market. I couldn't be happier with the results.

Aside from having been able to save and sort of fooled myself into it (because otherwise I wouldn't have the will to do it without the extra motivation of earning more, greedy as I am, admittedly), I profited a whooping 30% of my total investment so far. And these are not unrealized earnings from my portfolio. These are "real" profits because I have withdrawn them. My personal strategy is that I wouldn't withdraw more than my total investment my accumulated profits so that at any given time my portfolio should be more than, or at least equal to, the total amount invested.

For those who are unaware and are curious, I use an online account. Gone are the days when investors used to have brokers actually trading on the floors of the stock exchange. Picture those busy stockbrokers inside a noisy and large open space inside a building with phone lines galore. They are now largely replaced by a website! I use COL Financial as recommended by my "angel" of a relative.

My portfolio now consists of 60% blue chips and 40% other stocks that I chose out of the blue (though they are not blue, lol). I have since "retired" two of my original blue chip stocks because I felt I needed the cash and gathered from various sources that it was a good time to sell them. Mind you, these sources are not very technical at all --- they are mostly random people with educated guesses. Although I am into a financial profession, I really don't like analyzing huge technical data available for the determined investor.

As of now, I have three "leading" stocks with profits in the double digits and waiting for my decision to once again reap. I am setting a certain amount of profit as target. This time my new strategy would be to just sell the equivalent number of stocks to the amount of profit thereby not "retiring" a stock entirely. That way, if the price rises some more in the future, more profits can be gained.

Waiting to get reaped are SMPH, NIKL, and ALI. To know more about the companies behind these abbreviations, go to COL Financial now and satisfy your curiosity!

STRING THEORY

It's fascinating to say the least. And what terms! Supersymmetry, Superstring...almost like Superman or Superstar, words very familiar and denoting things fantastical and popular in our culture. That these are described in the superlative means that we are dealing with extremes. Basically, literally and figuratively, extremely (or as scientists would say, infinitely) small and large things.

I found and promptly bought two books from Hawking. I haven't had much success with Greene. But YouTube videos (dubbed as NOVA series hosted by Greene) are excellent replacements and they may even be more understandable. But I get sleepy every time and in fact always snoozed when I watched the hour-long videos. I don't know why. One would think that reading a book promotes drowsiness more than moving pictures. It has, I suspect, something to do with a personal phenomenon of mine sleeping during even the most action-packed sequences in practically any movie I saw inside a movie house.

So it would seem that my interest in String Theory is forever saddled with (1) inaccessibility of reference material, (2) personal physical limitations including underdeveloped mathematical ability and short attention span (sleepiness), and (3) psychological pressure.

Psychological pressure. I feel that all problems in life are solved if only I could understand what eminent scientists know about the theory of everything. It promises a solution to the age-old question of where we came from. I think that if we can understand with a decent sense of certainty (despite the so-called uncertainty principle) how and why we exist, we are in a better (or, in the best) position to deal with all our perceived problems, personal or en masse. Of course, other people swear by religion. For them, everything is clear and being guided by the divine. For me, though, there is psychological pressure. Because I have been thrown into the specific life I am living in which I am not satisfied by deity in explaining existence. Adding to the pressure is the conflict between desire/yearning for knowledge and my previously mentioned limitations.

But there is a silver lining (not related to the movie, hehe). I imagine that my predicament is inherent in humans. So I don't necessarily have to blame myself if for the life of me I could not understand a single mathematical equation central to theoretical physics. Kaluza-Klein theory, anyone? G_{\mu\nu} = 8\pi T_{\mu\nu}, what the hell does this mean? I'll try to explain. (The silver lining, not the equations.)

Math geniuses exist. They are the proponents of the various theories of everything. They validate results of experiments and the rest of the world would know from their efforts the level at which humanity has achieved scientific progress. As of the moment, these mathematicians and physicists admit that humanity is nowhere near a complete explanation of everything. In their superior intelligence, after centuries of effort and specialization and devotion, they still could not get to the basic component of matter. String Theory remains a candidate, not nearly the graduate. My theory is this. Geniuses though they are, we are all the same. Understanding of our existence is in direct proportion to our personal abilities. A religious person who is steadfast in his faith does not care much about atoms and gluons --- he is pretty clear and should feel no pressure whatsoever and should be able to face head on (and solve) whatever problems he may encounter --- as long as he lives "by every word that comes from the mouth of God." But this religious person must also struggle with his faith. There are no sacred cows. He is no different from a scientist struggling to prove gravitons and the higgs boson. He is no different from me who is very much interested in science but is stifled by limitations and therefore also struggles to have a glimpse of the physicist's realm. The struggles may not be equal but they are equivalent. And I dare say that the intensity of hunger and/or incompleteness is the same. The following is my favorite analogy. A beggar/destitute finds a ten-peso coin on the street and is naturally elated by it. The pleasant surprise that he feels is equivalent to the feeling of a person who is better-off financially and who suddenly wins a million-peso prize. Ten pesos and a million pesos are obviously not equal. But relative to the financial conditions of the two persons, the emotional effect on them can be said to be equivalent.

To sum it up, we are all in the same plane. The key is in the living. I will live inspired by what the future brings in terms of discoveries about String Theory and hoping for its resolution in my lifetime even if I will always be in the fringes as an ordinary citizen awaiting news from CERN. Just as Hawking is inspired to continue his monumental scientific work despite the physical disability (motor neurone disease). Just as the pious live a divinity-inspired life.

I thought the film was uneven but the Oscar-nominated and -winning (Lawrence) performances are deserving of the accolades. I like the fact that Jacki Weaver is an Australian who must in real life be very different from her American character in the movie. As a whole, I find the movie contrived in some parts but spontaneous in other areas especially the scenes between the two main characters. Jennifer Lawrence's role was kinda under-developed, meaning, one doesn't really know her motivations throughout the movie; it's as if it was always assumed that the audience would know. Maybe it had something to do with the production focusing more on the male lead. In which case Lawrence would still be deserving of an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. (Depriving Anne Hathaway of an Oscar because of that is another story.)

I also thought the title is unusual and unappealing and then realized it grows on you. It's like a song you don't like at first but later go LSS with it. Once in a while, it is inspiring to watch movies like this that tackle the human condition no matter how melodramatic they can seem sometimes. One idea I get from watching is that in our country, it is worlds away compared to America when it comes to how society deals with "crazy" people. They just don't get the attention and respect here.

EINSTEIN IN YOU

From Mort Orman, M.D., a remarkable insight about how Einstein "discovered" E=MC Squared:

 "...I admire this story not because it relates to the science of physics, but because it relates very directly to you and me. It relates to who we are as human beings. It relates to our own capacities to think, reason, and understand how life really works. It even relates to how much stress we experience. Knowing how Einstein arrived at E=MC2 helps us appreciate that we are all capable of achieving similar breakthroughs. Each of us is capable of waking up one day and realizing that:

1. The truth about life may not be what we've been told;
2. The truth about life may be very different than what most learned people believe;
3. We don't always need proof, evidence, or the agreement of others to embrace a new "truth" if we have  good reason to believe in its utility.

Look back over your own life for a moment. Aren't there times when you saw some truth other people couldn't see or refused to acknowledge? Weren't there moments when everyone around you all thought or felt the same way, but you had the courage to see things differently...and you were eventually proven right? Bet you didn't know you had some Einstein in you!..." READ THE WHOLE ARTICLE

CHANGE OF BLOG ADDRESS

This was not a conscious effort. Today, out of a number things I could have done online, I chose to change my blog address. As I said I did not consciously set out to do this. It just occurred to me to change it. No big deal but certainly something to blog about. But why? Because I can. Honestly, as I was signing on to this blog, I immediately saw SETTINGS and absentmindedly I pressed on it --- that's when I saw I could actually change blog address on a whim!

Anyway, I guess this is for the better. I feel some people cringe at the hubris of using "accountingtopbestschool." I do too but did not act on it for years. The new address is simple and one I certainly own: http://www.basnavarro.blogspot.com.

BLOGGING IS A NARCISSISTIC ENDEAVOR

I blog because I fancied myself to be a writer of great caliber and thought my grammar was exceptional for a non-native user of the language. I often used the word "I" right in the first sentence showing how important I must be. (The reader will not miss the intention.) Authorship is brandished for fear that someone else might take credit for what I created, made time for, and showcased.

It's been said that many writers had been taught that in order to become a better writer, they had to write more. I agree --- in addition to an already formed self-awareness that I am a natural writer. This conceit must have come from school where there had been teachers early on who found potential in me on this aspect. I built on those a priori events which encouraged me to want to hone the craft.

I am a narcissist, no doubt. An expert offers the following signs of an unhealthy ego. (Someone like me?)

• “I have a high opinion of myself”
• “You will never meet anyone like me”
• “No-one does these things as well as I do”
• “I can do anything better than anyone else”
• “There is nothing I can’t do”
• “I am not treated as an equal”
• “You have no idea of how much I am capable of”
• Running co-workers and other people’s capabilities down
• Pointing out other people’s faults when someone else compliments another person
• Failing to recognise the gifts, achievements and talents of others
• Never discussing how good or capable other people are
• Incapable of listening to other people’s conversations without butting in with own experiences and examples (Story topping)
• Expressing anger when you acknowledge other people’s capabilities rather than his or hers.
• Not asking other people questions and having an interest in their life, making conversations about self
• Making ‘I am unique and special’ statements
• Requires constant approval and recognition
• Feeling angered and unsupported when not receiving constant approval and recognition
• Displaying a loud, defensive or uncomfortable demeanour when meeting new people, whilst interacting with these people (not comfortable as ‘self’)

But here’s the thing: I am NOT those descriptions, in all honesty. Or at least not in the league of those ardent practitioners of such habits of behavior making them their mantra. And remember, denial is nowhere in the list thereby saying a lot about my contention.

That's the bombshell. I thought narcissism was me. I never ran away from it, even embracing the fact that I am a narcissist. I am a narcissist and I am wrong, the latter supplanting the former.

Recent events made me realize this. I will thus welcome the new year with a much appreciated bit of enlightenment. I don't like fuzzy. This one is crystal clear.

2012 REBOOT

I always have a tongue-in-cheek attitude towards apocalyptic predictions though I must admit that at times they do make me seriously ponder the age-old question of the existence of the afterlife. What is clear is the present spanning what has been our lives (read: human existence) so far. Previous to that and the future that follows in a linear universe are as vague as can be.

For some physicists, we may have just been rebooted in so seamless a fashion that nobody noticed. This idea interests me, part of my general curiosity about physics. If a computer can be rebooted, so can we. "The Matrix" movies may have been old but the idea is timeless and current.

It's Christmas once again and life continues in its endless cycle. I don't have to elaborate my attitude towards Christmas. It suffices to say that I find Arthur C. Clarke's "The Star" fascinating especially his suggestion that the star of Bethlehem that represents a major cornerstone of Christianity is actually light from a supernova (read: destruction). What irony!

On a personal level, I do not operate well under fuzzy conditions. This maybe the reason why I try to find clarity from the physical sciences. I do recognize that clarity can come from religion as well as synthetic means. Anything that works to gain understanding is fine by me. If something is not clear and confusing, I tend to get nervous and worrisome.

Lately, I've been a bit depressed. There are a variety of reasons and as I can't pinpoint the major one, they may have been equally responsible. To the seeming horror of some friends, I bought a GNC product, St. John's Wort, as a Christmas present to myself. Took about a dozen capsules since then and I am hoping that what I feel different is the positive effect I am yearning for.

If there's a perpetual New Year's wish I want granted it is that I will be clear and enlightened about little things and big things, about what it means to be alive as an individual and as part of the collective. I wish to once and for all know if we are just rebooted and rebooted. And to never again look up in the night sky and ask the stars "What are you?"

ROBIN HANSON

I am a fan of Robin Hanson. His work is always intellectually stimulating, albeit quite challenging to understand or comprehend. But with effort, I think I can follow his sometimes complex ideas. I feel more alive and I think I am a better person after reading these:


 Robin Hanson's Blog "Overcoming Bias"
 http://www.overcomingbias.com/2012/10/on-play-hell.html

Our activities split into work and play. And positive and negative extremes are described as heavens and hells. So there are four possible work-play extremes: work heaven, work hell, play heaven, and play hell.

Among common scenarios we discuss and imagine, we know of many work hells, such as galley slaves. We have fewer work heavens, such as where one gets work credit for a play-like activity. We also have a great many play heavens. But we rarely talk about play hells.

But consider: it might take you years to find out that you are embarrassingly bad at your chosen hobby or sport. The radical science theory you pursue for decades could just be just wrong. You might go out dancing every evening hoping to catch someone’s attention, only to always see him or her go home with someone else. Your so-called best friend could spread nasty rumors about you. Your kids could despise you. Your lover could cheat on you. You could get divorced. These are play hells, most every bit as hellishness as typical work hells.

In the US today, only 14% (24/168) of adult hours each week are devoted to formal work. Since we devote far more time to play than work, I’d guess that most of the actual hells around us are play hells. Yet such play hells seem neglected. There are far fewer charities devoted to helping folks cope with them. And there are far fewer regulations designed to reduce them. The law also slights them – rarely can one sue about harms that arise from romance and friendship. Storybook heroes that sally off to rid the world of work hells far more often than play hells.

I suspect we inherited this tendency from our foragers ancestors. Foragers have many rules about fights, hunts, and sharing the product of work, but far fewer rules on romance and friends. To foragers, work was more overt, play more covert.

 Wikipedia entry on "The Great Filter"
 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Filter

With no evidence of intelligent life other than ourselves, it appears that the process of starting with a star and ending with "advanced explosive lasting life" must be unlikely. This implies that at least one step in this process must be improbable. Hanson's list, while incomplete, describes the following nine steps in an "evolutionary path" that results in the colonization of the observable universe:

(1.) The right star system (including organics and potentially habitable planets)

(2.) Reproductive molecules (e.g., RNA)

(3.) Simple (prokaryotic) single-cell life

(4.) Complex (archeatic and eukaryotic) single-cell life

(5.) Sexual Reproduction

(6.) Multi-cell life

(7.) Tool-using animals with big brains

(8.) Where we are now

(9.) Colonization Explosion

According to the Great Filter hypothesis at least one of these steps - if the list were complete - must be improbable. If it's not an early step (i.e. in our past), then the implication is that the improbable step lies in our future and our prospects of reaching step 9 (interstellar colonization) are still bleak.

If the past steps are likely, then many civilizations would have developed to the current level of the human race. However, none appear to have made it to step 9, or the Milky Way would be full of colonies. So perhaps step 9 is the unlikely one, and the only thing that appears likely to keep us from step 9 is some sort of catastrophe or the resource exhaustion leading to impossibility to make the step due to consumption of the available resources (like for example highly constrained energy resources).

So by this argument, finding life on Mars (provided it evolved independently) would be bad news, since it would imply steps 2–6 are easy, and hence only 1, 7, 8 or 9 (or some unknown step) could be the big problem.

Although steps 1–7 have occurred on Earth any one of these may be unlikely. If the first seven steps are necessary preconditions to calculating the likelihood using the local environment then an observer can infer nothing about the general probabilities from its pre-determined surroundings.

OPT OUT

Choosing not to be involved in, or part of, anything has its consequences.  Serious involvements have serious repercussions to those who fail. The successful ones, however, have bragging rights. But that is all there is to it. You can proclaim your happiness to the world because someone 'completed' you and your union is strong; because you have a strong sense of belonging to an organization that shares your passions; and because you have accomplished great things and earned titles, trophies and labels by participating in many of life's competitions. After the proclamation, or proclamations (because there could be many in your lifetime), you die. And whatever your beliefs are in the afterlife, after death: you either have a clean slate, those triumphant moments never to return, or you simply stop being and nobody cares about your accomplishments because they don't mean anything without you or anyone else appreciating them.

I have come to realize those to be true. That is why I could be a hermit and I couldn't care less.

Choosing to be alone most of the time, unwilling to immerse into the rat race, I strive for balance. In the daily grind, a sense of humor saves me from normally frustrating and annoying situations. 

I was going to throw out the garbage and locked the door of my pad without the keys. Early on I was irritated by some noisy students working on their school project with bits and pieces and what have you. They were conveniently and completely occupying the hallway in front of my door and my nearest neighbor's. One of them is apparently a relative of my nearest neighbor and got permission. They forgot to get permission from someone who is ultimately subsidizing the entire building's rental by his being alone in his unit while the rest of the units in all three floors average four people. They sway and move their things in angles to let me pass and murmur apologetically but I hold a stern face to show my displeasure.  I am a snob that way. I have no inclination to make social gestures with these students and my neighbor who tolerates them. In fact I don't want to have anything to do with them except that I couldn't choose my neighbors for as long as I am content having my residence in the apartment building.

A few seconds after conceiving my forgetfulness, I decided to go ahead, never looked back, went down and dumped the garbage. I would have yelled 'Shit! I forgot the keys!' right then and there but that would mean soliciting sympathy from the very people I don't want to have anything to do with. So I proceeded, silently embarrassed and frustrated. As I threw the garbage on the designated pile in the street outside, I kept thinking if I had a spare key inside my belt bag and if none, how I would go about sleeping tonight and preparing to go to work tomorrow without access to my pad. And then it struck me. I would not be stressed by this. Shit happens and life is fleeting. I wouldn't waste my time obsessing about how clumsy and stupid I had been leaving the keys hanging behind the door they are supposed to open. Still, I didn't want to have anything to do with the damn students. Maybe I could find a twig somewhere or a wire long enough to get to the keys though the windowsill. But I would do that only after they're gone. I wouldn't want to give them the satisfaction of looking at me while I awkwardly fetch the keys. (Here comes the Grinch trying hard to open his door while we desperately move our things to clear his path.)

And so I had to blog about this, spent a few hours in an internet cafe to while away until the students got through their night's quota of schoolwork from hell.  Hopefully they're gone by 23:30, my appointed time limit at this cafe...

My actuation in this case perfectly makes sense to me. And it actually amuses me. We have to enjoy life while we can and whenever we can. Even if it means opting out.


POSTSCRIPT. 02:00. They are still there and I am marooned inside a 24-hour internet cafe. Earlier at the Baclaran night market, bought P100 worth of paraphernalia: a toy basketball net for toddlers and a plastic curtain rod. Might as well net these hellish students ahead of the keys!

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY!

Happy 1st Birthday to my niece on September 30, 2012!


S  A  C  U  V  I   Z   E  L  A  P  E  D  A  A  Ñ  N  A  V  A

SABA                                             MEGAN XAPPHIRE
CUECO                                         ESPINOZA
VIOLETA                                        GURREA
ZERNA                                           AÑORA
LATORRE                                        NAVARRO
PEREZ
DAEL
AÑORA
NAVARRO

WHAT IS ZERO?

In my hurried research about the question, I came across what I think is a brilliant discussion about this fascinating 'thing' called ZERO.

From Joshua Bell (www.ted.com/conversations):

"Zero exists in math, in statistics, and in our personal comparisons, but my problem has always been 0 in nature. I guess a more accurate description would be trying to find "nothing." As has been stated, 0 Kelvin would cause what would basically be a violation of everything known about science, and probably cause Heisenberg's zombie to go on a rampage. So zero can describe things in math, a midpoint between some assigned negative and positive coordinates. But what actually is zero in nature? Sure you can use zero with an identity of forces, the block doesn't move if I push left and you push right with the exact same force. But that's because we assign the identity 1 to the desk, and movement as 0 in our macroscopic sense. It's not actually a nature 0 though, the desk is made of atoms in constant vibration. Another thing that's always got me is space. One of the unsolved problems in physics is the theory of gravity, ironically the most well formulated and least understood of the forces. Gravity by basically saying every particle interacts with every particle in the universe, of course decreasing exponentially with distance, but still interacting. How though? and through what? and what exactly is force? I'm only a senior in college going for a physics major, but the concept of relating math 0 to nature 0 has been a fairly constant thought throughout. Like how the atom is described, a dense nucleus with a rotating electron, but the distance between the nucleus and electron is vast. Well what's in the space between? obviously they're interacting, but through what? So what confuses me the most is that there's never nothing, the universe is full of particles and forces and fields which move, oscillate, radiate, vibrate, but never completely STOP. So what exactly is 0?"

THOUGHT PORN

In daily life, the nitty-gritty always confounds me. But fortunately not to the point that I couldn't function properly enough to get done whatever it is I'm confronted with. At least to external observers, everything seem unremarkable, out of the ordinary. In my mind, however, automatic thought processes following an act or deed begin. And they are often perplexing, mixed-up. It would need additional thoughts to counter them before I'd settle into either a compromise to stop the internal debate or postponing the inward discussion for later. If there is such a thing as 'poverty porn,' then what I do is 'thought porn.'

It is not by any means entirely detrimental to my health that I have overarching and instinctive thought processes. It has served me well in some occasion where I'm satisfied with the compromise. It is always a compromise when you battle with yourself: no clear winner or loser. After all, neither outcome can occur at the same time; unless you subscribe to Hawking's concept of alternate universes.

What am I talking about and can I be any clearer?

To answer that, I need to elaborate on a specific instance. My pad is located in a messy apartment complex in the middle of a bustling commercial, albeit poverty-stricken, part of the metropolis. To deglamorize it further, it's kinda akin to ghettos of say, New York City or Paris, only more rundown, more impoverished. It is not unusual for me to arrive in the dead of night, sometimes overextending to the next day before sunrise. We have 'natural' security guards in the form of squatters living off the small area in front of the pathway leading to the cul-de-sac that stops right to the main doorway of the apartment complex. Our guards sell street stuff by day and sleep right there by night. I don't mingle with them but other tenants do. Their condition, though forced on us, appears to gain legitimacy by the fact that the building owner does not seem to mind and some tenants are 'bribed' with small errands and a little help to the postman to deliver mails to proper recipients. I have judged these people with all my heart. I have given them voices in my head. In the spirit of fair play, they have legal representation in my mind, their case difficult to defend in reality. We do hear news of squatter demolitions served by the proper sheriff but in our little part of the world, it is psychological. So I pass them by without looking directly in their faces. They feign affection or familiarity, I can sense by the body language. But I act cold and distant because in my thoughts, I already formed a compromise. I will not initiate action and will not utter a single slur against them for as long as they stay timid and not intrepid in my presence. They will act as they are, our 'natural' guards and harmless.

In the office setting, in various other situations that form part of our waking hours, and even in dreams and nightmares, issues come up for analyses through the automatic thought process. If no compromise is reached, the struggle to understand and find reason continue.

I am hoping that I will form the right judgments. Our decisions in small and big ways constitute our time spent alive. We have less than a century to battle with ourselves. Our thoughts will become our actions, our actions will become our personalities, our personalities will become the persons we are in the eyes of God (if you believe in one), in the eyes of aliens (if they have a pair or set) and in the eyes of all that is capable of observing (including our very selves).

If only we can improve on our thought processes so that we will become the best that we can be. Isn't that one of the ultimate human aspirations, to be the best? Alas, it's a struggle. We are obviously imperfect. Even scientific geniuses make many mistakes. We can only accept, not regret.

MONSOON IN MY MIND

There are times when I just keep on thinking --- of various themes and thoughts too many to mention in a snap --- that I lose track of time, and sometimes, space. Looking at the built-in cellphone clock, I stare without comprehension; the same old feeling when during cramming time in school, you stare at words from a textbook/notebook to understand and hopefully memorize and you just can't because your brain is too busy dealing with the pressure of studying. But lately, pressure is being replaced by, it's only now blogging about it that I realize, the many stacks of issues playing in my head about which little has been shared to other people. Not that I couldn't talk endlessly and invade your senses by my monologue given the right timing but that these are mostly trivial stuff (albeit sometimes with grander implications) that I seem to relish creating in my head. You don't talk of these things extemporaneously in my opinion, you internalize them.

In light of the monsoon season in Metro Manila and the unprecedented damage it has wrought so far, I'm sharing a thought.

The media as represented by the most visible of them all - television - seem to have schadenfreude during disasters. They are bearers of bad news, no less than the President himself criticizes them as such in a recent dressing down in a speech pointed at a former Vice-President who now returns to his original vocation. I agree with P-Noy.

Worse, media have once again its crowning glory during the last few days of flooding. Yes they mobilize donations, help create awareness, etc. But they sensationalize. And the look in the faces of the news anchors and reporters, with their expensive-looking jackets and "bad-weather" paraphernalia (to figure these out, try watching our local TV news shows), it does not match a bit with the inherent sadness of what they are broadcasting. I think if I were one of the flood victims they are featuring and watch myself on TV, I will feel offense and degradation. Nobody's outwardly insulting but the actions are subtle; you can only analyze and conclude after watching the news almost every night.

Perhaps part of the general culture. The "haves and have-nots" mentality due to the great economic divide of this country manifesting itself into television becoming a medium wherein economic superiority is brandished by those who made it (i.e. highly-paid newscasters) to the rest of the populace (i.e. flood victims).

WHAT IF?

What if Skycable didn't have problems in our area today and yesterday while I was at my pad eager to watch TV? What effects, cosmic or otherwise, could missed TV shows have in my life? If an airplane fell down on the apartment (something not impossible to happen in our vicinity) and I was there instead of here (blogging outside at a survivable distance where wifi is available), is it serendipitous or plain old luck? What if it's something deeper, more profound?

This makes me digress to how indeed we haven't been in control from the very beginning. Control freaks freak even more. No matter how hard we try, some things are meant and are not meant to happen. Believers in destiny rejoice. And it feels kinda liberating to think that destiny strikes both ways. All our perceived past mistakes, the ones we subscribe to youth because we couldn't bear to take the responsibility, they have all been facts in our lives --- no ifs and buts about it --- they happened to us because they were once negative possibilities that eventually became reality. So do our lucky moments, the happy times of our lives.

How much did you lose financially in the past 5, 10, 20 years due to bad decisions, wrong moves that cost a lot, unforeseen circumstances that made you lose money? P50,000, P1,000,000...? It doesn't and shouldn't matter except for one thing. If one can assign a value to these losses and realizes that there is no way, absolutely no way, that you would have that amount today had it not for those reasons, then one feels no regret because you aren't destined to hold that amount today anyway. And why is there absolutely no way you would otherwise have the amount of loss if you hadn't "lost" them? It's because you would not have those losses if you didn't have money to lose in the first place. What you had was "money to lose," not necessarily money that you will have if you have not lost them.

There are simply too many complicated factors that govern one's everyday life. We were never in control and never will be. Everything is all up in the Higgs field and the bosons controlling it if you are into this stuff. Else, everything is all up to God and the extremely influential psychology that does the controlling if you are into the divine.

BIRKIN SCAMMER

Manila or its so-called "high society" is abuzz about the Birkin Scammer. Read the link.

Assuming you read the link or you already knew the story, the main subject 'Shiela' is no longer a mystery. It doesn't take a genius to search for her identity which is just lurking around the net. The supposed reason for the secrecy is that legal action is yet to be filed against her. But I doubt that a lawsuit can prosper given the circumstances. Extremely rich people will never come out in the open and testify that they have been singlehandedly scammed by this woman. And the fact that the story unfolded months ago (February of this year) proves that indeed the circumstances make it difficult to prosecute the alleged crime.

My beef really is not whether justice is served or not. This situation punctuates the disparity between the wealthy and the poor in this country. For us who are not (even in our wildest dreams) part of 'high society,' all we can sometimes do is drool over the tale of millions of pesos involved in a scam brought about by a bag or a purse or whatever you call this branded piece of accessory that had long become a status symbol the world over. Mommy Dionesia marked her transition from poor to rich with this bag. Not a car, not a house, but a bag! And not just a bag, it is one that could fetch up to P6 million a piece.

For the uninitiated, see Wiki's entry for BIRKIN.

Postscript. I will be trying to 'analyze' my Stats with this entry. Let's see if this story sustains interest.

BLOG MATTERS

Just visited my Stats and noticed a kind of surge in traffic from Southeast Asian users specifically, if I am not mistaken, Indonesian. This somehow got me rethinking if I should "waste" precious time once again on a blog that for the most part hasn't been one that matters (at least to myself, anyway).

Clicks later and I was on Paypal and Nuffnang, two remaining "sponsors" of this blog. You see, I have not always admitted this, I had long been banned by Google. Got over that, so long, farewell, Google!

But seeing Paypal and Nuffnang with fresh eyes and a kind of new perspective, I might just give this blog one more try!

I just hope I will have the time. Yay!

A NEW TRAILER!

THE BOURNE LEGACY

THE AVENGERS: UNEXPECTEDLY GREAT!

Yay! We are ahead by one week. The U.S. will yet to see the film in May. I thought it is all hype like its predecessors these past weeks. I am wrong, of course. Manila is queuing up for a film that finally lives up to its hype.

John Carter, The Hunger Games, Battleship, Wrath of the Titans. These are all special-effects driven just like The Avengers. But the latter is awesome! I'm sorry but all those titles before The Avengers were, in one way or another, disappointing in my opinion. The Avengers is by far the best film of 2012!

Now, when can we expect The Super Friends?

FINAL FOUR

My forecast went kaput. Only Biggel from among my four original choices remains.




I do watch the show and I guess that makes me a fan. However, I will definitely not go so far as to attend the Big Night at the Quirino Grandstand. Heck, I wouldn't go there for Hollywood stars. The heat will be unbearable if it does not rain which is quite unusually frequent this summer.

Back to my forecast. I may have the last laugh though. It appears Biggel is gearing up to win the life-changing P3,000,000 and house-and-lot, among other prizes.

THE BOURNE LEGACY

Manila Locations

"YOU MAY BE THE ONE"

That's what Steven Tyler says of Jessica Sanchez. (She reminds him of Liv's mouth/lips. LOL.)

Seriously, Jessica should win. But she's got equally serious competition from Phillip (Phillips, whatta name!) and Skylar (kinda unique, too).

Proud that she's Filipino. Jessica Bugay Sanchez from Bataan.

SLEEPLESS IN MANILA

I'm back blogging and so is my insomnia. And all the blame is on me. I would not be "back" blogging if I had not left my entries blank in a very long while. Neither would I have done so had I not been too busy in recent months; busyness spilled out from last year for both personal and professional reasons. The insomnia is an unwanted side effect feeding the cycle.

Watching the latest on PBB (which now breaks the record for being the longest season perhaps owing to "boring" housemates as some pundits would say), having the occasional massage, being OC enough to monitor daily my fledgling stocks (the obsession irritates me but the current robust stock market makes up for it)...These are a few breaks when I'm neither on Facebook nor Blogspot.

There is also a life question that has been bugging me.

This one's from the net but I have been asking myself this for far too long: What would I regret not fully doing, being or having in my life? It is easy to say that we should have no regrets, that what is done is done. However, for me, the sinking feeling always crops up that I could have done better in many a situation and I didn't step up. It takes a lot of introspection and self-motivation for me to counter it.

I do find comfort in these lines from the George Clooney film "Up in the Air:"

How much does your life weigh?

Imagine for a second
that you're carrying a backpack.

I want you to feel the straps
on your shoulders. Feel 'em?

Now I want you to pack it with
all the stuff that you have in your life.

You start with the little things,
the things on shelves and in drawers
the knick-knacks, the collectibles.

Feel the weight as that adds up.

Then you start adding larger stuff -
clothes, table-top appliances, lamps, linens...
your TV...

The backpack should be getting
pretty heavy now. And you go bigger.

Your couch, bed, your kitchen table.
Stuff it all in there.

Your car, get it in there.

Your home, whether it's
a studio apartment or a two bedroom house.

I want you to stuff it all
into that backpack.

Now try to walk.

It's kind of hard, isn't it?

This is what we do to ourselves
on a daily basis.

We weigh ourselves down until we can't
even move. And make no mistake...
moving is living.

Now, I'm gonna set that backpack on fire.
What do you want to take out of it?

Photos?

Photos are for people who can't remember.
Drink some ginkgo and let the photos burn.

In fact, let everything burn
and imagine waking up tomorrow with nothing.

It's kind of exhilarating, isn't it?

WHITNEY

Her death puts me out from blog hibernation. News about her are all over TV today. The circumstances are intriguing and it is expected that there will be extensive coverage in the next few weeks.

Whitney Houston's erratic behavior from years of drug abuse is public knowledge. Ultimately, she had her life choices and was responsible for her own demise --- my opinion, anyway. Hardcore fans will always maintain a certain image of their idols which is almost always positive.

Her life was a cautionary tale.

OSCARS 2012

PBB UNLIMITED

I'm almost ashamed to admit it. Lately I've been riveted by PBB Unlimited, more particularly the 24/7 edition over Channel 73 on cable. Don't worry, it's not really 24 hours seven days a week unless you include some static represented only by the PBB logo.

It's been said a lot of times that it's getting boring with countless editions already. Undoubtedly, it is an effective tool of ABS-CBN to discover and promote new talents. Some of the network's brightest stars came from the reality show: Sam Milby, Kim Chiu and Gerald Anderson, to name a few. But it is refreshing to start watching future showbiz personalities on the raw and follow on their stories until they will have achieved showbiz success.

The current "unlimited" PBB housemates will surely have unlimited potential outside. Predictions? These are a few standouts so far on my end:

BIGGEL

TIN

JERICO

JESSICA

It's 3 to 1 High Voltage! And Jessica is nominated and could go out as of this writing.

FAREWELL, DEAR CLASSMATE

Both are surprising, to say the least. Two deaths too many; one too hard to accept.

Christmas time, happy time. If not marred by a single tragedy amid many brought on by Sendong. Like the previous one which happened, of all the days of the year 2011, in our alma mater's foundation week, this one is specially tragic.

I am not a good batchmate in the sense that I attend meetings and what-not religiously. But I have a respect for history and a genuine sense of belonging to a group of people, mostly my age, who passed though High School together. I have a few I hold dear and these include classmates whom I haven't seen for long periods of time. Some we meet along the way as we travel our individual journeys and we do not fail to reminisce those days of struggle to get into transition from immature to mature.

And there are special people in that group that you felt connected to no matter how remote and seemingly inconsequential the past interactions might have been.

She was my classmate and seatmate in First Year High School, Section: Lopez Jaena. That was a detail anyone might not care to remember but I do. She was charming, unassuming, and you would know right away she came from wealth by the way she carried her uniform to the quality of her school paraphernalia...If anyone cares to disagree, these are my impressions and they are as valid as reality, beyond any objections to the contrary.

A memory that I will always cherish was the feeling of satisfaction, a sort of 'pat in the back' from this lovely lady owing to her almost natural tendency to give appreciation to the simplest of things. I remember drawing figures and whatever 'artistic' details on my notebooks. It was like an addiction. I would later have had those notebooks disposed of out of embarrassment because I felt it was not natural to be writing anything on one's notebook other than the notes intended for academic purposes. She had a different perspective. She would have me draw on her notebooks, too. Especially 'border designs' on the edges and 'sketch dividers' on pages. I never received such appreciation for that 'work' from anybody else.

Later on in High School, she was assigned to another section, but quite fittingly, in our last year, we became classmates again. This time, she'd grown into sophistication and had become a campus figure. I would see her from a distance and I was happy for the success she had earned through those four years. We never once discussed or even fleetingly talked about the 'artistic endeavor,' that bond which I always considered special. Yet I have always felt, whenever she was around, that she remembered. It was just not something you talk or rave about; it was a silent affirmation of the innate goodness of select people.

I still think it is unfair. However, if there's anything the past decades have taught me, it is that as we grow older and wiser, we become more accepting of things we cannot change and therefore more courageous in the face of even the most shocking of events.

You will be missed. You were and you will always be a Lovely lady.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

Christmas 2011, New Year's Eve 2012.

I won't be going home for these. Instead my mother will come over to Manila and Davao to celebrate Christmas with me and New Year's Eve with my brother in the south.

Traveling is expensive even though Cebu Pacific claims to have year-round promos. I have an unused voucher owing to the airline's marketing strategy not to honor vouchers during peek seasons. What irks me is that ordinary people like us don't normally travel on lean months because that's supposed to be the territory of the rich. (As the majority wiggles in poverty, the few jet-sets; thus the lean travel period.)

My proclaimed intention to fly to Jakarta or Kuala Lumpur is on hold. Manila is not that bad. I reckon there will be less traffic but I'm not too sure. There are good local movies in the upcoming film festival, I have seen quite a few trailers. Hopefully, local cinema keeps on improving. They should take on the responsibility; after all 2011 is when all box-office records are broken with reportedly nearly three quarters of a billion pesos worth of local film tickets sold.

So it will all be about the movies this holiday season for me. Maybe some foreign films crop up, perhaps the latest Mission Impossible and Meryl Streep as Thatcher in The Iron Lady.

Happy holidays!

I DON'T LIKE CRITICS

I don't know how to start this post that is why I started this with this. As always, I would say it's been a long time that I haven't been blogging. Which is just stating the obvious because blog entries have dates when they are written and you have eyes to see them albeit I have no right to judge the way you use them (your eyes) nor do I like judging in general. (I hate it in everyday life when people evaluate you whether at home, in the office, or anywhere.)

Speaking of seeing and judging, let me try to start with the latest film I've seen. In Time. From wikipedia I learned its previous title was Now and Im.mortal which is kinda interesting but which basically reveals its plot. I don't know if the change had affected the box-office or the critics' perception of the movie.

I watched it because Amanda Seyfried and Justin Timberlake look good together on the poster. They do too in the movie and pretty much say the same about themselves as part of the movie's dialogue where they (or maybe just one of them) sort of admires how they looked on a "wanted" poster. I was mildly surprised that the cinema was packed. Again from wikipedia I learned it has not earned that much in the U.S. (I'm beginning to realize I rely on wikipedia too much.)

Bottom line is the film made me think hard of the implications of genetic alterations that would make possible the change of currency from monetary to, well, existential. Right now I can't exactly say I am clear about what I want in terms of the number of years I would like to be alive. It's easy to quote a number like a hundred. But a hundred years, though very much possible, is fearsome (to me, anyway); the way my self-esteem goes, a frail body with a schizophrenic life is not at all appealing. The movie is thus an inspiration. What if it's possible to live hundreds of years to infinity looking the way you look at 25 because the ageing process conveniently stops at that age? It would be fantastic. However, it would be a stretch for myself and others in my age bracket to hope for a retroactive effect; it's probably something for another movie: Back to the Future.

I can't say anything about the acting and the characterization and the emotional depth the story provides because I have long ago stopped to be a critic. I find film critics to be in bad taste. You decide to watch a movie that is not your own and you expect it to be exactly the way you want it made? Let's just respect the work of others and cut short our subjective opinions and come out with the objective ones. After all, we surrender ourselves to what a filmmaker has to offer when we accepted that offer in the first place by paying for the tickets.

I don't know how to end this post either and I have to in a few minutes because an appointment is waiting.

(I'm beginning to get irritated by my use of "I" in almost every paragraph now.)

Okay, I now know how to end this thinking that I'm beginning to criticize myself. End an essay using the title!

I. do. not. like. critics.

EXHALE

Whew! It's been a hundred years that I haven't been blogging. I feel a personal guilt. Whatever that means.

But no, I won't talk about my recent trip abroad, how wonderful and worthwhile it may have been. Though I must admit that short venture in a foreign land does inspire me to reflect on a few things. And neither would I talk about those reflections here.

So what are we talking about? Essentially nothing. I've learned not to put forward things in one go, in a haste. Because haste makes waste. I want to savor memory by not unloading it. If at all, I'll do it slowly.

Looking back there have been times when I felt so happy then blogged about it or put forth FB to represent the feeling to the world, exhaling every bit of energy the next hour or day. Then the memory fades into nothingness because nature kinda wear things easily if they are ever repeated, overused...

Just like breathing we have to exhale what we inhale. Unlike breathing, our life experiences bottled up in moments tend to linger more within us if kept there and we are left waiting to exhale.

OSCARS 2011

2011

I'm tired of "Merry Christmas," and now "Happy New Year" even if the latter is still appropriate.

That does not stop me from hoping 2011 will bring a whole new attitude, the way I've been conditioning myself in the past year to improve my, well, attitude (or more clearly "outlook in life").

You see I discovered I'm suffering from negativity bias. But I have been doing something about it. 2011 will bare the fruits my labor bears...

Here's one positive thing:

SHAKIRA FRESH

AT RANDOM

I go to this specific place almost without thinking why and how. It can be "place addiction," something I remember blogging about years ago. The reason it's coming back to my attention is that it is coming back to my routine.

This makes me ask: If we are not bound, as in at least a portion of our "personal time," by the social structures of our lives (i.e., our jobs, our family if we have one, our passionate endeavors whatever they may be), what brings us to where we are going? There's little or no motivation at all to be there, yet we find ourselves there.

Since I have been sorta checking out quantum physics (struggling with its complexities), I wonder if the theoretical vibrating strings have somehow something to do with our almost involuntary movements.

Tomorrow, at least, all roads lead to a place via satellite. I will be at The Grand Opera Hotel once again, this time for Pacquiao-Margarito. Here's hoping the billion quarks composing Pacquiao's body outdo the billion quarks of Margarito. That's in Physics. In Finance, Pacquiao already won. Whereas Margarito gets only millions of pesos (3-5 million U.S. dollars), Pacquaio will have more than a billion pesos (30-35 million U.S. dollars) after the fight.

CUECO FAMILY

I did blog about this before and learned to correct a few mistakes along the way as I slowly took interest in Filomeno Cueco's progeny. A little satori prodded me to delve more.

Filomeno, as in Chaos Theory, was an initial condition. Of course our culture dictates the male surname to prevail. That doesn't take away the fact that a certain Marcelina Saba became an indispensable factor. And truly she's half of a couple we are all grateful for.

They have had offspring. One was purportedly a soldier and died a single man. But Filomeno sired a child with another woman. If I'm not mistaken, she's female, her name was Mary, prohibiting as it did the proliferation of the name Cueco in her line as our culture has always been as it is now. Another son of Filomeno, Pedro, seemingly followed on his productive footsteps and had fathered someone named Fely (popularly known to me as "Piling Manghihilot." LOL, mawalang galang na!). Surely, the descendants of these women are our blood relatives. Unfortunately, I have trouble knowing their names much less recognize them face to face.

Their individual personal circumstances --- Filomeno, the soldier son, Pedro --- likely carried down the line, there would be pattern amid the chaos after all.

Such is a fact of life. And if we really want to fully appreciate our consanguinity, it is impossible. Unless we are royalty. The British are famous for that because of an empire that lasted for centuries. Queen Elizabeth II can trace her own descent from antiquity. It is because her ancestors were rulers who were recognized by a proud and grateful nation.

I, with our cousins and distant relatives, can only be proud of Filomeno Cueco. And to remember him a hundred years after his prime is enough tribute because we were never an empire. Yet he is, in my own estimation (but I suspect this observation is scientific), only 1/8 of where I came from. (Okay we have to stop at a certain level unless you start invoking an almost endless list going back to Adam and Eve or way way back to the Big Bang.) What about the other seven parts? Indeed, they deserve remembering too.

However, we are currently onto and into Facebook --- a phenomenon of the modern world. We go by the times. So damn what is fair. As far as I am concerned, my 1/8 Cueco generates more Facebook profiles than the other seven.

No Facebook account, no mention. (For those not yet "discovered," well, soon you will be, hopefully.) Exceptions are in order for Filomeno, Marcelina, Flavia, Sofonias and Pedro; we can't blame them for not having Facebook, can we?

Here it goes: